The third meeting started off terrible. Despite making a new friend and establishing an interview with him, I did not feel welcomed in the meeting. Koinonia was not present.
Outside my handful of friends in the group, I felt a cloud of bitterness from the others as if I did not belong or was invading their space. This was not a new feeling however. I felt this from first encounters with most Koinonia members. This feeling of alienation was most present when I was asked to leave Course 101 because it was “not a good week.”
Koinonia is a predominately Asian club. So, at times I want to associate being alienated as a racial matter. Yet, as a college educated African American, I know to throw my race cards with confidence and surety.
Despite that, the rest of the meeting was amazing! We read about Jesus’s Prayer (John 17:1-19). After having a bible discussion, I was as spiritually moved as I had been in years. For a small moment, I felt as I once had as a Christian in a church. I felt unifying peace and content amongst every one present in the room.
As a struggling atheist, this both scared and thrilled me. Yet, it also showed me a glimpse of how powerful, nerve wrecking and life changing ethnographic work can become.
This is a trailer for a movie that Koinonia will see tonight. It is about an atheist columnist from Chicago who eventually, after trying to write stories to disprove Christianity, becomes a Christian . Link for tailor available here